FFI~ Happiness and Purple Slurnaps found in Giant Ball Pit of Death

And…here we go!

1. Join me in the giant ball pit of death.

2. Put a little >omitted due to decency standards< in your day!

3. Happiness is like finding yourself. You don’t find happiness, you make happiness. You choose happiness. Self-actualization is a process of discovering who you are, who you want to be and paving the way to happiness by doing what brings YOU the most meaning and contentment to your life over the long run… *snoring loudly* Wha?  sorry… fell asleep on that.   My 96-year-old Grandma used to say Happiness is a good shit, and the older I get the more I find this to be true.

4. _Men are like dogs, they wander around sniffing butts, looking dazed and confused. (J/K… only some men are like that)

5. I’m waiting for the purple slurnaps to creep from the deep with their bursnap slaps and giving me my antipsychostics pilz against.

6. An opportunity to be silly, stupid and goofy is hard to resist.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to finishing Empire Falls by Richard Russo, tomorrow my plans include reading, reading, and more reading in the Dewey 24 Hour Read-a-Thon, and trying to get my kids to read some, too and Sunday, I want to sleep and watch the first disc from Netflix of HBO’s miniseries version of the book Empire Falls!

Wait, How Did You Find Me?!

Okay, I had so much fun doing the last search results post, That Brought You Here?!? That I wanted to do another.

When I was scrolling down my stats page, one of the search terms caught my eye, and I wondered if enough time had passed to post another.  It’s been over a week so… YuP! :-D  Here goes.  The search terms are in bold, btw.

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bad effects of eating your boogers ~ Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea… yeah!

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spray cheese ~ on cracker… eat immediately.

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sex with sleeping doll ~ I believe this is illegal, and you knowChatty Cathy’s watching and’ll tell everyone…

.

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william shakespeare (dr. faustus) ~ Dr. Faustus, meet William Shakespeare :-)

compare anne frank to the book thief! ~ NO! I don’t wanna!

I won't do it!  NOOOOO!      NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!      You can't make me!

invention of “invisible shirt”~ Yeah, I’m selling them out of my invisible store, and they come with an invisible receipt. I guarantee all eyes will be on you when you wear the matching invisible pants. I’ll sell both to you and throw in a pair of invisible Nikes all for a visible $20 bill. :-D

gary larsen plant comics~ Personally, I plant vegetables and herbs, maybe a few annuals, but hey… to each his own. I wonder if any of his comics have been famous? Tom Arnold must of been a bad year for the old winyard, eh?

isabel ice custard ~ It’s the movie version of Custard the Dragon. When Isabel, Ink, Wink, Mustard and Custard are flying over the Andes on their way to a rugby match, the plane crashes and they are forced to do the unthinkable to survive. Custard kept crying for his nice safe cage, until Isabel couldn’t take it anymore and turned him into Dragon tartar.

half-blood prince’s comments on love pot ~ He said, “Dude… DUDE… duuuuuude…. ya gotta try this pot…. one long drag and you like… totally love everyone. *puff.. puff… blow* DuuUuuuUuDe! I love you, man!”

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Then there are a few Vampire ones:

where can i read vampire kisses blood~ Anywhere you want, dawg, as long as you buy something every couple hours so the don’t think you’re loitering, home slice.

cheap: vampire kisses: blood relatives ~ This would be the Redneck family reunion slash speed dating slash wedding version.

read vampire kisses vol 2 free ~ Dude… it’s called the LIBRARY.  If that’s not free enough for you, I don’t know what to tell ya.  Get the audio book?  Except it’s a manga book.  Have someone read it for you, then transfer the memory into your brain…  It’d probably have horrible side-effects, and you’d probably grow a tail and develop a tic, but it’d be free.

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And… of course… there are all of the BOOGER searches, some of which made me swallow my tongue…

is it dangerous to eat your boogers?  Yes, that’s why you look left, then right, then left again before taking a nibble… oh, wait, that’s crossing the street.

how to eat boogers ~ Now… mind you, I’m no expert on this, but it seems fairly straight forward…  freshly picked, breaded and deep-fried and served with marinara sauce, right?

cure smelly boogers ~ Dude!  Stop sniffing your gym shoes!  Get some Odor-Eaters or something!

im 18 and still eat boogers, and 20 years old and eats boogers why~ Seriously, an even better question is WHY did GOOGLE think I knew the answers?!

throw poo ~ okay… here you go…

I'm throwing POO at you!

What are some of the weird search terms that have led people to your blog? Or what’s the oddest search you’ve ever done?

BTT ~ Grab Me a Bit of the Lone Star

BookingThroughThursday

Yesterday, April 15th, was Tax Day here in the U.S., which means lots of lucky people will get refunds of over-paid taxes.

Whether you’re one of them or not, what would you spend an unexpected windfall on? Say … $50? How about $500?

(And, this is a reading meme, so by rights the answer should be book-related, but hey, feel free to go wild and splurge on anything you like.)

Let’s see… what would I do with an unexpected $50? Erm, that’s not a lot of money, so I’d probably take the kids out for a nice family dinner somewhere.

Now, if I had more money…. like $500, then I’d start thinking about maybe getting a TV and DVD player for each of the girls’ rooms. I am sick to DEATH of all the bickering over the television. The oldest constantly hogs it, and if she’s asked to allow someone else a turn, she huffs and sighs and very nearly creates a micro-hurricane inside the house.

Two TV’s (one in the living room, one in mybedroom), one computer, FOUR people…. Do the math.

Now, if I had a really big windfall, like one with all the EICs and mortgage credits and all that goody-good stuff… I would:

Buy the four of us Amtrak tickets and run away to Texas for a vacation with my mom. I’d take three or four books with me, ones I’d be sure my mom would enjoy, too. Buy new books about local information and history while there, then read them as we travelled back north.

I love Texas sunshine!

What would you do with some mad money?  Click Booking Through Thursday if you’d like to play along.

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