Wait, How Did You Find Me?!

Okay, I had so much fun doing the last search results post, That Brought You Here?!? That I wanted to do another.

When I was scrolling down my stats page, one of the search terms caught my eye, and I wondered if enough time had passed to post another.  It’s been over a week so… YuP! 😀  Here goes.  The search terms are in bold, btw.

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bad effects of eating your boogers ~ Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea… yeah!

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spray cheese ~ on cracker… eat immediately.

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sex with sleeping doll ~ I believe this is illegal, and you knowChatty Cathy’s watching and’ll tell everyone…

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william shakespeare (dr. faustus) ~ Dr. Faustus, meet William Shakespeare 🙂

compare anne frank to the book thief! ~ NO! I don’t wanna!

           

invention of “invisible shirt”~ Yeah, I’m selling them out of my invisible store, and they come with an invisible receipt. I guarantee all eyes will be on you when you wear the matching invisible pants. I’ll sell both to you and throw in a pair of invisible Nikes all for a visible $20 bill. 😀

gary larsen plant comics~ Personally, I plant vegetables and herbs, maybe a few annuals, but hey… to each his own. I wonder if any of his comics have been famous? Tom Arnold must of been a bad year for the old winyard, eh?

isabel ice custard ~ It’s the movie version of Custard the Dragon. When Isabel, Ink, Wink, Mustard and Custard are flying over the Andes on their way to a rugby match, the plane crashes and they are forced to do the unthinkable to survive. Custard kept crying for his nice safe cage, until Isabel couldn’t take it anymore and turned him into Dragon tartar.

half-blood prince’s comments on love pot ~ He said, “Dude… DUDE… duuuuuude…. ya gotta try this pot…. one long drag and you like… totally love everyone. *puff.. puff… blow* DuuUuuuUuDe! I love you, man!”

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Then there are a few Vampire ones:

where can i read vampire kisses blood~ Anywhere you want, dawg, as long as you buy something every couple hours so the don’t think you’re loitering, home slice.

cheap: vampire kisses: blood relatives ~ This would be the Redneck family reunion slash speed dating slash wedding version.

read vampire kisses vol 2 free ~ Dude… it’s called the LIBRARY.  If that’s not free enough for you, I don’t know what to tell ya.  Get the audio book?  Except it’s a manga book.  Have someone read it for you, then transfer the memory into your brain…  It’d probably have horrible side-effects, and you’d probably grow a tail and develop a tic, but it’d be free.

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And… of course… there are all of the BOOGER searches, some of which made me swallow my tongue…

is it dangerous to eat your boogers?  Yes, that’s why you look left, then right, then left again before taking a nibble… oh, wait, that’s crossing the street.

how to eat boogers ~ Now… mind you, I’m no expert on this, but it seems fairly straight forward…  freshly picked, breaded and deep-fried and served with marinara sauce, right?

cure smelly boogers ~ Dude!  Stop sniffing your gym shoes!  Get some Odor-Eaters or something!

im 18 and still eat boogers, and 20 years old and eats boogers why~ Seriously, an even better question is WHY did GOOGLE think I knew the answers?!

throw poo ~ okay… here you go…

What are some of the weird search terms that have led people to your blog? Or what’s the oddest search you’ve ever done?

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THAT Brought You HERE?!?

I am about half way through Love Over Scotland by Alexander McCall Smith and decided to take a quick break and check things out.  Actually, I’ve just read the passage I want to quote for the review, so I’ve started it up and saved it, and thought I’d take a break before going back to the book.  It’s been a slow book to get into, not helped by the fact that it’s the third book in a series I’ve never read, I’m sure.  But in the last 30 pages or so, I’ve decided I really like it.

So, I was clicking around and checking out other people’s blogs, when I happened upon Devourer Of Books post THAT Brought You HERE?, and had to have a go at it myself 🙂

From what I can tell, she’s gone into her blog’s search term refferals and posted the ones she liked best.  I’ve always found some of the searches people use to find my own blog rather interesting to read… and sometimes completely bizarre… but I’ve never really gone “in depth” with my look-sees.  Here are a few that I’ve found:

booger theme wordpress -erm… no, actually, I believe it’s called “Freshy Theme”  Dunno if wordpress has a “Booger Theme”… you might have to build your own with the CSS thingamabob-doojigger.

can doctors tell if you eat your boogers – Wot?  seriously… is there something green stuck in between my teeth?  I thought it was the brussel sprouts I had for dinner….

adhd ballet students –  Wait… I’m sure I can find a video clip for that one….

throw poo at somebody – One of these days I’m going to figure out how to change the text color and then I will take over the world…. bwaa-haa-haa… 

yiddish robot – really, I just have nothing to say for this one….  Is Philip K. Dick Jewish?

why girls eat boogers – Again with the boogers?  I swear!  It’s brussel sprouts!  Though, I’m betting some people would rather eat a booger than a brussel sprout….

what is an opinion on the book the book – I don’t know, but I bet Miss Teen South Carolina does, or like such as, and then the US can help the US and such as and like osama the south asian africa such as.

on average how many boogers are in a hum – as many as can fit as long as you hum softly.  They tend to be on your lip, chin and shirt if you hum forcefully.

does cancer cause boogers?  OMG!  It’s not a sinus infection… it’s brain cancer?!?  EEeekk…  oh no… was that my brains I just blew in my hankie?

youtube – sorry, wrong address… you want http://www.youtube.com/  You took a left when you shoulda gone right.   Happens all the time. 😉

how many boogers do you produce in a day – well, on average, I try to grow between six and ten per day.  However, with this cold and all, production levels are through the roof… it’s a literal product explosion!  Currently I’m working on a marketing scam scheme to make a profit on the overstock.  I’m looking into E-bay… I saw souls and ghosts for sale and thought, “Why not my bogies?”  If I work it right, I could make an Italian flag out of my Kleenex… white, green and a little red.

food humans shouldnt ever eat – Alpo… purina…. Cow cud…  Goldfish flakes…  I could go on.

time will change it, i’m well aware – but YOU fed the baby chili and YOU will change THAT diaper…. I’m not going near that toxic DUMP.  If you’ve seen Mr. Mom, you’ll get that one.

wuthering heights i have no more busines – cuz my spel cheker has brokeded?  Don’t worry, like such as Miss South Carolina will come to osama your help such as.

So what are some of your weirdest searches? AND…. booger or brussel sprout: Which would you eat?

Why You Shouldn’t Eat Your Boogers – Factoid #8

Inside everybody’s nose
There lives a sharp-toothed snail.
So if you stick your finger in,
He may bite off your nail.
Stick it farther up inside,
And he may bite your ring off.
Stick it all the way, and he
May bite the whole darn thing off.
by Shel Silverstein from Where the Sidewalk Ends

If you stuck your finger far enough up your nose, could you reach your brain?

No, because an average-shaped human finger would not be able to pass beyond the nasal passages. If a finger (and it would have to be unfeasible small to do so) could make its way through the nasal passages, it would then reach the sinuses. Sunuses are air-filled spaces found behind the nose and cheeks and in the forhead. However, our imaginary finger would then find its route blocked by the cribriform plate, which makes up part of the ethmoid bone in the skull and forms the “ceiling” of your nose.

Clark would benefit from reading today’s factoid:

This post is part of the Boogers and Book Bucks Giveaway. Don’t forget to enter at the original post for your official entry. Comments here count as a bonus entry 😀

Why You Shouldn’t Eat Your Boogers – Factoid #7

Can a human being spontaneously combust?

Human spontaneous combustion is a mysterious, controversial, and much derided phenomenon, in which a person is said to suddenly burst into flames, without the presence of any external fire or heat. Cases have been reported of burned corpses being found, their bodies charred, but the furniture around the victim seemingly untouched by the fire. This phenomenon has remained a contentious mystery for hundreds of years, with a number of possible explanations being suggested, including balls of lightning or a buildup of methane inside the intestines.

However, scientists now believe that they may have found the answer, in a theory known as the “wick effect.” The theory is that in certain rare and particular circumstances, a human body can burn in a way comparable to a candle. A source such as a lit cigarette may start the fire, and it is believed that body fat can act as fuel to keep the body burning. A group of researchers carried out an experiment to demonstrate the wick effect. It involved setting light to a dead pig wrapped in cloth which was designed to represent a person wearing clothes. The pig burned for many hours, and the charred effect was similar to that found in apparent cases of spontaneous human combustion. The scientists believe they demonstrated how a case of spontaneous human combustion could occur to a person who had already been knocked unconscious. It could also explain why only part of the body -the part that is rich in fat- burns, while the rest stays intact.

 

Okay, I believe spontaneous human combustion is a real and very rare phenomena, personally. It is, IMO, caused by an imbalance of the electrical system in the body. A friend of mine’s daughter has Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum, which is a rare birth defect where the bridge between the brain’s hemispheres fails to develop properly resulting in their inability to communicate with each other, and one of the medications the doctor wanted to put her on has a possible side-effect of spontaneous human combustion. My friend refused that medication… I don’t blame her.

One more video, this one’s kinda funny:

This post is part of the Boogers and Book Bucks Giveaway. Don’t forget to enter at the original post for your official entry. Comments here count as a bonus entry 😀

Why You Shouldn’t Eat Your Boogers – Factoid #6

MMMmmm… the smell of new shoes is one of those things that rank right up there with glue, gas and permanent markers! And nothing in this world can make or break your day like the fit of a pair of shoes. Too tight, and you’re as cross as a bear. Too loose and you feel like a clown escapee from Ringling Bros. But a nice pair of shoes that fit just right can boost your confidence and energy level into overdrive and make you feel invincible!

But how do you get that perfect fit? My mom always smashed my big toe with her thumb and told me to wiggle it to see if I had room, but how ’bout this….

I sit true that X-rays were once carried out in shoes shops?

It is ironic that X-rays can both cause cancer and be used to treat it. Nowadays, with the use of very small doses of radiation to produce high-quality X-ray images, the risk of cancer after properly supervised X-ray examinations is extremely small.

Between the 1930s and 1950s, a device called the shoe-fitting fluoroscope was a common fixture in shoe shops. It was a unit that usually consisted of a vertical wooden cabinet with an opening near the bottom into which the feet were placed. When you looked through the viewing holes on the top of the cabinet you would see a fluorescent image of the bones of the feet and the outline of the shoes. When the feet were in the shoe-fitting fluoroscope, the customer was effectively standing on top of an X-ray tube. The fluoroscope helped to measure shoe size and tested the fit of a new pair of shoes. When it was realized that X-rays could be harmful, the use of the fluoroscope declined.

The fluoroscope was widely used by doctors to view inside the body. X-rays were also used to shrink infected tonsils, and thousands of children received this treatment. Decades later, it was realized that this treatment could cause thyroid cancer.

“Um, Mr. Bundy? Should I have a sixth toe suddenly start growing after my last shoe fitting?”

Yeah, I think I’ll stick to my mom’s way….

This post is part of the Boogers and Book Bucks Giveaway. Don’t forget to enter at the original post for your official entry. Comments here count as a bonus entry 😀

The Sunday Salon – DEATH to Mr. Manners!

Good Morning All!! Happy Sunday, and whatnot. I fell asleep with the TV on CNN and had some very weird dreams. Something about the book Daddy Long Legs, how that got in there I don’t know, along with sitting pool side in Beijing watching Phelps win the 8th gold medal, I doknow how that got in there… it’s only on every five minutes! mixed together with Obama, McCain, housefires and hurricanes to make some weird unconscious cocktail of imagination.

BERNIE MAC died? I just happened to glance over at the TV and just found out. I really love Bernie Mac’s comedy. Guess Who? is one of my favorite comedies, and I love the Bernie Mac show where he’s taking care of his niece and nephew. And I guess Isaac Hayes died, as well. Crap! I need to at least watch the news more.

Chocolate prices is on the rise. That sucks. But I’ll have to say what the smokers say… If it get up to $1.00 a bar, I quit eating it! and then still buying chocolate when it’s $2.50 a bar. Chocolate and books…. they are my crack!

My Friday-Fillinsthis week sparked a bit of interest. It seems you can’t say you intensely dislike your neighbor and suggest we all dress up like my neighbor so we can create mayhem in his (and her) image without getting a couple comments of laughter and curiosity, as well as a few who understand. So I thought I’d explained a little more about the joy and rapture I feel NOT! about my friendly cough next-door neighbors.

When they moved in I said hi and was friendly, and I gave them some tomatoes from my garden and some baked goodies. A few weeks later, Mr. Manners knocked on my door at 10 o’clock at night demanding I turn down my TV. Their grandkidstore up my yard, left their toys and stuff in the grass which made my lawn mower happy, and even played on my front porch with my kids’ stuff when we weren’t home. Mr. Manners made a vague threat he was going to kill my cat by locking him up in his garage and leaving him there for a couple weeks. Last year, when I was walking Missy, our mini rat terrier, he whistled to her in a friendly way, and she went happily to him… after all, every human loves her and has always been good to her. Suddenly he started chucking rocks at her, cussing her out and threatening to kill her if she ever stepped in his yard again. He cussed out my oldest daughter because she was standing too close to his POS van… she was a yard and a half away from it!

A couple weeks ago, Maggie had a lemonade and cookie stand to make money to go to our local amusementpark and asked my neighbor’s grandson if he wanted some. When he went to ask, Mrs. Manners told him he couldn’t have anything she was selling and he wasn’t allowed to talk or play with Maggie and she didn’t want Mags on her property. What? I gave them a box of homemade.. MY made.. cookies and goodies at Christmas, they didn’t die from them then, what gives my cooking cooties now? They were miffed about her out in from of the house hawking her goodies for sale, but then when Mags and I came out to go for breakfast at White House, it looked like their house threw up all over their front lawn. My kid was scum for having a lemonade stand, but here they are having a yard sale! I loudly told Maggie (loud enough for Mr. Manner’s to hear) she should set up her lemonade stand today so she could benefit from Mr. Manner’s yard sale traffic.

What makes matters worse, Mr. Manners happens to be my landlord’s maintenance man. So I have to let him in my house on occasion. The last time he came, Maggie answered the door, took one look at him, screamed in terror, slammed the door and ran to tell me he was at the door. Oh joy… I told him she shouldn’t have answered the door; she should have told me someone was at the door and let me get it. I don’t know if I told him she was scared of him or not.

So, that’s my neighbors. Feel free to wear a disguise that makes you look like them and go create madness and mayhem at the local 7-Eleven. 😀

A couple other things: My grandmother died on Thursday, so my presence on the blogs and ‘net may be a bit thin, particularly on Wednesday (which is the viewing) and Thursday (which is the funeral). The daily Booger factoids will still be posted, so continue to come by and comment, and I’ll put the entries in when I get home.

I don’t know if my little brother (he’s 32, not so little) is coming, and don’t know if I’ll have anyone staying with me in my home. I doubt my mom will. I’m about 90% certain she’ll choose to stay at a hotel, a room of her own and maid service as opposed to crashing here and cleaning up after all of us… which she will, no matter how much I say not to. If my brother and his two sons come up, he might stay with me if mom doesn’t pop for a hotel for them. And he’s a big tech nerd, so I’ll have to threaten to break his fingers if he tries to “improve” my computer. He’s always trying to get people to go Linux. I’m adamantly opposed for the sole reason that he’s so rabidly for it.

OH, and don’t forget to sign up to win that $10 Borders Gift Card! at Boogers and Book Bucks Giveaway!

Why You Shouldn’t Eat Your Boogers – Factoid #5

Alright… no bugs, parasites or cannibalism today… Today’s factoid is something straight out of science fiction.

Can a head live without a body?

In 1988, the U.S. government granted a patent for a device that would keep a severed head alive after being surgically removed from the body. The device has never been used, so it is uncertain how effective it would be. However, the creator of the device has been contacted by a number of people who want to know how soon the operation will be available and how much it will cost. Some of these people are dying or paralyzed, and many of them say that they would welcome the operation, if it meant that their minds would remain clear and they could still think, see, read, remember, talk, and listen.

The proposed procedure would involve attaching the decapitated head to a device essentially consisting of a series of plastic tubes. These tubes would be connected to the bottom of the head and neck and would provide oxygen and fluids, as well as maintaining blood circulation, to keep the head alive.

In 1973, an American brain surgeon called Dr. Robert White carried out the world’s first head transplant, using two monkeys. He decapitated both animals and successfully managed to stitch the head of one monkey onto the body of the other. The “hybrid” monkey regained consciousness, opened its eyes, and tried to bite a surgeon who put a finger in its mouth. It also ate, and it could follow people around the room with its eyes. However, the monkey was paralyzed from the neck down because its spinal cord had been severed, and it was impossible for the surgeons to reconnect the numerous nerves necessary for it to regain any bodily movement. The monkey survived for about seven days after the transplant.

White claimed that this surgery could benefit parapalegics, who may die as a result of the long-term medical complications that often accompany extensice paralysis. He believed that if these people were to receive new bodies, donated by patiens who were brain dead but otherwise physically healthy, it would give them a new chance of life, even though they would remain parapalegic.

There are some really strange video out there that demonstrate the mind-bending ability the brain has to survive. One video shows a dog’s head revived and responding to stimulus. The monkey vid’s on out there, as well, but the one I saw on YouTube had one of those “scream scenes” in it so be careful.

When I read this segment, my mind immediately went to Sarah Jessica Parker’s head on the body of her character’s pet chihauhau in Tim Burton’s Mars Attacks! (great movie if you haven’t seen it)

This post is part of the Boogers and Book Bucks Giveaway. Don’t forget to enter at the original post for your official entry. Comments here count as a bonus entry 😀

Why You Shouldn’t Eat Your Boogers – Factoid #4

Okay, after yesterday’s… and the day before… post, I am sick (literally) of buggy facts. So today is a bug-free factoid!

Today, I wanted to post the answer to a question most of us have asked at least once in our lives.

What does human flesh taste like?

In 1972, survivors of a Uruguayan plane crash were stranded in the Andes. To avoid starvation, they decided to eat the flesh of fellow passengers killed in the accident. After they were rescued, survivors said that they had cooked the meat briefly and “the slight browning of the flesh gave it an immeasurably better flavor – softer than beef but with much the same taste.”

However, infamous murderer Arthur Shawcross, who took the lives of eleven women in New York from 1989 to 1990, said cooked human flesh tastes like a nice roast pork.

Whether human flesh tastes like pork or beef, the fact remains that it can be dangerous to partake of such a diet. In the 1960s, there were epidemic levels of a rare and fatal brain disorder called kuru among the Fore (pronounced for-ay) tribespeople who lived in the highlands of Papau New Guinea. Many of them died from kuru during this period, and their deaths are thought to have been caused by the transmission of a virus-like particle, through the tribal practice of cannibalism.

Traditionally, when a member of the group died, he or she would be dissected and wrapped, and then steamed in a fire. During the funeral the brain would be presented to the closest female relative, and she and her children would be given the honor of eating it. Unfortunately, the virus-like particle which causes kuru is found in highest concentration in the brain. Consequently, the Fore’s traditional rites were the key factor in the spread of this disease.

The tribespeople believed that kuru was caused by sorcery and could not be convinced that it was due to eating human remains. However, despite this, most of them did stop eating human body parts once they were ordered to do so by police and threatened with imprisonment. Once the cannibalism was stopped, the disease also abated.

Fritz Haarmann (1879-1925) became known as the “Butcher of Hanover” and was thought to have been responsible for the deaths of up to fifty boys and men. After Germany’s First World War defeat, Haarmann opened a butcher’s shop The shop prospered, mainly because he sold cheap, fresh meat at a time of great hunger when meat was scarce. After attacking and killing his victims, Haarmann would chop up their bodies and make them into sausage meat, which he cooked and served to his favorite customers. In 1924, a woman who had bought some of his beef became suspicious and contacted the police. The meat was sent to an expert analyst, who somehow concluded that the meat was in fact pork! Nonetheless, the police eventually found grisly evidence for twenty-seven of the murders, and Haarman was sentenced to death by beheading.

Discussions around our dinner table while I was growing up got around to this topic from time to time. Often, when my working mom was asked “what’s for dinner?” for the twenty-seventh time of the evening, she would irritably replay “Long Pork” and give us the stink-eye.

But is it pork? or is it beef, like the the Andes crash survivor’s said? Issei Sagawa, the son of a wealthy Tokyo industrialist, said it had no smell or taste, but rather melted in his mouth like raw tuna. I, personally, am not willing to find out.

For more info on cannibalizing serial killers, visit Cannibals Anonymous. Some of the info is creepy (okay, all of it), and after a few bites of stories, you definitely get your fill, but it is a buffet of abnormal psych laid out in a most palatable fashion.  I never knew there was such a variety of psychopaths!  😉

This post is part of the Boogers and Book Bucks Giveaway. Don’t forget to enter at the original post for your official entry. Comments here count as a bonus entry 😀

Friday Fill-Ins – Terrorize 7-11 Dressed Like My Neighbor!

Here we go:

1. The last meal I had at a restaurant was Hardee’s for breakfast yesterday, as far as sit-in goes… I had Burger King from the drive-thru for lunch (I tried to make a reservation for the BK spa, but was told it was already booked up 😉 ).

2. My neighbor and his wife (grr, he thinks he’s the manners police and she’s just a nasty witch) is something I intensely dislike.

3. The full moon is a big chunk of stinky Limburger cheese.

4. Duh! is one of my favorite local expressions.

5. Sometimes it’s best to wear a disguise that makes you look like my neighbor when creating madness and mayhem at the local 7-Eleven.

6. The Mummy 3 is the best movie I’ve seen so far this year! (I can’t really remember much before it, but I can tell you the last ten books I’ve read!)

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to finishing New Moon and posting the review, tomorrow my plans include finishing Confessions of a Contractor and posting the review and Sunday, I want to reading a lot more of Molly Moon and the Incredible Book of Hypnotism (It’s such a fun book, and we are enjoying it even more than Junie B.!)!

Don’t forget to enter to win your very own copy of Why You Shouldn’t Eat Your Boogers and a $10 Borders Gift Card in Mt. TBR’s Boogers and Book Bucks Giveaway!

Why You Shouldn’t Eat Your Boogers – Factoid #3

Question: Why do Texans wear pointy-toed cowboy boots? answer at the end of today’s factoid.

Does anything eat facial hair?

There are bugs that will eat just about anything, including facial hair. The American cockroach, Periplaneta americana, is a large, brown, winged cockroach, about 1 1/2 inches (4 cm) long. This cockroach is commonly found in the southern United States in tropical climates, and will often be found living in sewers. It will eat practically anything including leather, book-bindings, glue, flakes of dead skin, and soiled clothing. It has also been known to munch on the eyelashes, eyebrows, fingernails, and even toenails of people while they are asleep.

OMG, I am actually having to choke back the vom right now. Seriously, several things went through my head as I copied this factoid. Huge winged cockroaches like from the horror movies. They’ll eat book-bindings, oh no, not the books! They eat eyelashes and eyebrows Oh no, not the eyelashes and eyebrows again! I wonder if they’ll eat the mites, though… Gawd, I’d rather have the mites! Then the things they do while their victims sleep! I remember hearing stories at the meat packing plant *lots of roaches there, btw!* about people who didn’t clean their earplugs going to the doctor for an earache only to have a baby roach pulled out of their ear. AND children living in filthy conditions who have sores from where the bugs had been nibbling on them as they slept.

GAG!!!!!!!!!!

This post is part of the Boogers and Book Bucks Giveaway. Don’t forget to enter at the original post for your official entry. Comments here count as a bonus entry 😀

Answer: So they can kill the cockroaches in the corners! -Dan Rather on the Late Show with David Letterman