Wait, How Did You Find Me?!

Okay, I had so much fun doing the last search results post, That Brought You Here?!? That I wanted to do another.

When I was scrolling down my stats page, one of the search terms caught my eye, and I wondered if enough time had passed to post another.  It’s been over a week so… YuP! 😀  Here goes.  The search terms are in bold, btw.

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bad effects of eating your boogers ~ Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea… yeah!

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spray cheese ~ on cracker… eat immediately.

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sex with sleeping doll ~ I believe this is illegal, and you knowChatty Cathy’s watching and’ll tell everyone…

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william shakespeare (dr. faustus) ~ Dr. Faustus, meet William Shakespeare 🙂

compare anne frank to the book thief! ~ NO! I don’t wanna!

I won't do it!  NOOOOO!      NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!      You can't make me!

invention of “invisible shirt”~ Yeah, I’m selling them out of my invisible store, and they come with an invisible receipt. I guarantee all eyes will be on you when you wear the matching invisible pants. I’ll sell both to you and throw in a pair of invisible Nikes all for a visible $20 bill. 😀

gary larsen plant comics~ Personally, I plant vegetables and herbs, maybe a few annuals, but hey… to each his own. I wonder if any of his comics have been famous? Tom Arnold must of been a bad year for the old winyard, eh?

isabel ice custard ~ It’s the movie version of Custard the Dragon. When Isabel, Ink, Wink, Mustard and Custard are flying over the Andes on their way to a rugby match, the plane crashes and they are forced to do the unthinkable to survive. Custard kept crying for his nice safe cage, until Isabel couldn’t take it anymore and turned him into Dragon tartar.

half-blood prince’s comments on love pot ~ He said, “Dude… DUDE… duuuuuude…. ya gotta try this pot…. one long drag and you like… totally love everyone. *puff.. puff… blow* DuuUuuuUuDe! I love you, man!”

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Then there are a few Vampire ones:

where can i read vampire kisses blood~ Anywhere you want, dawg, as long as you buy something every couple hours so the don’t think you’re loitering, home slice.

cheap: vampire kisses: blood relatives ~ This would be the Redneck family reunion slash speed dating slash wedding version.

read vampire kisses vol 2 free ~ Dude… it’s called the LIBRARY.  If that’s not free enough for you, I don’t know what to tell ya.  Get the audio book?  Except it’s a manga book.  Have someone read it for you, then transfer the memory into your brain…  It’d probably have horrible side-effects, and you’d probably grow a tail and develop a tic, but it’d be free.

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And… of course… there are all of the BOOGER searches, some of which made me swallow my tongue…

is it dangerous to eat your boogers?  Yes, that’s why you look left, then right, then left again before taking a nibble… oh, wait, that’s crossing the street.

how to eat boogers ~ Now… mind you, I’m no expert on this, but it seems fairly straight forward…  freshly picked, breaded and deep-fried and served with marinara sauce, right?

cure smelly boogers ~ Dude!  Stop sniffing your gym shoes!  Get some Odor-Eaters or something!

im 18 and still eat boogers, and 20 years old and eats boogers why~ Seriously, an even better question is WHY did GOOGLE think I knew the answers?!

throw poo ~ okay… here you go…

I'm throwing POO at you!

What are some of the weird search terms that have led people to your blog? Or what’s the oddest search you’ve ever done?

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Boogers and Book Bucks Giveaway!

Dont Eat That Booger!

Don't Eat That Booger!

Do bugs live in your eyelashes?

What does human flesh taste like?

Can you really catch a cold by standing in the rain?

How do astronauts POO in space?

What foods can cure a hangover?

Why is yawning contagious?

Is eating BOOGERS bad for you?

These and many other questions are answered in this 228 page book of useless and GROSS information about your body. Did you know the human skin of an executed criminal was used to bind the book that contained the facts of his crimes, trial and execution? Or, and this one is Maggie’s personal favorite, that 80% of household dust is made of the dead skin cells we shed continually?

Shock your friends with bodily facts. Be the life of the party when you tell of furniture made from human body parts. Surprise your doctor at your next physical with knowledge even he doesn’t know!

Now you can win your very own copy of Why You Shouldn’t Eat Your Boogers and Other Gross or Useless Information About Your Body by Frances Gould.

But WAIT! That’s not all! Not only will you win this fascinating book, but you’ll also get a $10 gift card for Borders! That’s a $13 book and a $10 card, for a total of a prize value of $23!

To enter:

1. Leave a comment here for your official entry. If your name ain’t here, you ain’t in it! (I save the entries here for contact info)

2. Blog it for an extra 5 entries.

3. Each day I will be posting an interesting factoid from the book. Leave a comment on those post for an additional entry.

Contest ends at 11:59 pm on Saturday, August 23rd and the winner will be announced in my Sunday Salon post. 😀 (Winner will be picked using Research Randomizer)

GOOD LUCK!