THAT Brought You HERE?!?

I am about half way through Love Over Scotland by Alexander McCall Smith and decided to take a quick break and check things out.  Actually, I’ve just read the passage I want to quote for the review, so I’ve started it up and saved it, and thought I’d take a break before going back to the book.  It’s been a slow book to get into, not helped by the fact that it’s the third book in a series I’ve never read, I’m sure.  But in the last 30 pages or so, I’ve decided I really like it.

So, I was clicking around and checking out other people’s blogs, when I happened upon Devourer Of Books post THAT Brought You HERE?, and had to have a go at it myself 🙂

From what I can tell, she’s gone into her blog’s search term refferals and posted the ones she liked best.  I’ve always found some of the searches people use to find my own blog rather interesting to read… and sometimes completely bizarre… but I’ve never really gone “in depth” with my look-sees.  Here are a few that I’ve found:

booger theme wordpress -erm… no, actually, I believe it’s called “Freshy Theme”  Dunno if wordpress has a “Booger Theme”… you might have to build your own with the CSS thingamabob-doojigger.

can doctors tell if you eat your boogers – Wot?  seriously… is there something green stuck in between my teeth?  I thought it was the brussel sprouts I had for dinner….

adhd ballet students –  Wait… I’m sure I can find a video clip for that one….

throw poo at somebody – One of these days I’m going to figure out how to change the text color and then I will take over the world…. bwaa-haa-haa… 

yiddish robot – really, I just have nothing to say for this one….  Is Philip K. Dick Jewish?

why girls eat boogers – Again with the boogers?  I swear!  It’s brussel sprouts!  Though, I’m betting some people would rather eat a booger than a brussel sprout….

what is an opinion on the book the book – I don’t know, but I bet Miss Teen South Carolina does, or like such as, and then the US can help the US and such as and like osama the south asian africa such as.

on average how many boogers are in a hum – as many as can fit as long as you hum softly.  They tend to be on your lip, chin and shirt if you hum forcefully.

does cancer cause boogers?  OMG!  It’s not a sinus infection… it’s brain cancer?!?  EEeekk…  oh no… was that my brains I just blew in my hankie?

youtube – sorry, wrong address… you want http://www.youtube.com/  You took a left when you shoulda gone right.   Happens all the time. 😉

how many boogers do you produce in a day – well, on average, I try to grow between six and ten per day.  However, with this cold and all, production levels are through the roof… it’s a literal product explosion!  Currently I’m working on a marketing scam scheme to make a profit on the overstock.  I’m looking into E-bay… I saw souls and ghosts for sale and thought, “Why not my bogies?”  If I work it right, I could make an Italian flag out of my Kleenex… white, green and a little red.

food humans shouldnt ever eat – Alpo… purina…. Cow cud…  Goldfish flakes…  I could go on.

time will change it, i’m well aware – but YOU fed the baby chili and YOU will change THAT diaper…. I’m not going near that toxic DUMP.  If you’ve seen Mr. Mom, you’ll get that one.

wuthering heights i have no more busines – cuz my spel cheker has brokeded?  Don’t worry, like such as Miss South Carolina will come to osama your help such as.

So what are some of your weirdest searches? AND…. booger or brussel sprout: Which would you eat?

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Skeleton Crew by Stephen King

Title: Skeleton Crew

Author: Stephen King
Publisher: Signet
ISBN:0451168615

Publication Date: 1986

Skeleton Crew is a collection of 22 stories.  Most are short stories, with the exception of 2 poems and the novella, “The Mist.”  Like most collections, some of the book’s stories are better than others, two of which have been translated to film.

Aside from the Introduction, the book begins with “The Mist“.  This novella is the whole reason I picked up this book.  It has been recently made into a movie, also titled “The Mist.”  In my opinion, with the exception a few other entries, this is the only story that is worth reading in this book.  Since the movie’s release, “The Mist” is now in print as a stand alone novel. 

This story begins in the aftermath of a hundred-year storm that has left residents without power and a hefty chore of cleaning up.  Steff Drayton asks her husband, David, to run into town to get a few items on her grocery list.  David takes his son, Billy, with him along with his neighbor, Brent Norton, with whom he had had a recent court case that left both men with hard feelings toward one another.  As he gets ready to take off, Drayton takes one last look out on the lake where a bizarre mist has been rolling in from the direction of a nearby military base.

In town, the three enter the Federal Foods Supermarket.  But before they can get their shopping done, all Hell breaks loose… literally.  Stuck inside the store with several area residents and summer tourists, Drayton fights to keep his son and fellow shoppers calm and safe while huge tentacled beasts, ginormous flying bugs and spiders, and pteradactyl-type monsters loom on the other side of the Federal Food’s plate glass windows. 

While beasties troll outside, the breakdown of society occurs inside when Mrs. Carmody, area mystic and resident crackpot, begins spewing Apocalyptic references and claims only the human sacrifice of little, innocent Billy will keep them safe.  Drayton and a handful of others realize it’s no more safe inside than out, and decide to make a daring escape.  But is there any world left out there to go to?

The Monkey is another worthy-to-read story.  It is about a small boy finding a toy monkey that claps the cymbals permanently attatched to his simean paws when wound.  But when he winds it, he discovers it doesn’t work.  Later, when it spontaneously claps and chirps to life, young Hal is frightened.  But when he finds out that, at the exact moment it began to play, his babysitter died, he becomes terrified and throws it back in the closet.  But the monkey likes Hal.  He wants to stay with Hal.  The monkey refuses to stay gone, even after he’s given to the junk man and later thrown down a well, all the while clapping his symbols and taking lives, just to return, once more, to the boy he stalks.   I will never buy one of these monkies after reading this… never ever ever!

The second story that was turned into movie magic is The Raft; it was one of the segment stories  in the second Creepshow movie.  I still remember, to this day, this one scared the bejesus out of me.  I went to summer camp, which had the wooden deck floating in the middle of the pond, just like in the story.  I was so excited when I came across the written story in this book.  Basically, it’s the story of 2 couples, over-sexed college students, who decide to take a forbidden swim in the lakem which is closed for the season.  As their swimming out to the anchored deck, what appears to be an oil slick begins to float towards them.  It is no oil slick… it is some bizarre carnivorous floating monster, stalking the lovers like prey.

Other stories worth honorable mention are: Mrs. Todd’s Shorcut (her obsession with finding the fastest shortcut would stymie Einstein), The Jaunt (you can teleport to Mars, just don’t do it conscious).

Paranoid:  A Chant is actually a poem, but I thought it was pretty cool.  So I will end this review with a quote from it:

“Last night a dark man with no face crawled through nine miles

of sewer to surface in my toilet, listening

For phone calls through the cheep wood with

chrome ears.I tell you, man, I hear.”