Viral Video Wednesday ~ Stalkers!

STALKERS!  We’ve all seen stories on the news about them.  They stalk celebrities, some delusionally believing they have a relationship with the object of their obsessions.  Even Queen Elizabeth had one!

Wikepedia has this to say:

Individuals characterised as stalkers may have a mistaken belief that the other person loves them (erotomania), or have a desire to help the other person. Stalking consists of a series of actions which in themselves can be legal, such as calling on the phone, sending gifts, or sending emails.

And lists the following types of stalkers:

  •  Rejected stalkers pursue their victims in order to reverse, correct, or avenge a rejection (e.g. divorce, separation, termination).
  • Resentful stalkers pursue a vendetta because of a sense of grievance against the victims – motivated mainly by the desire to frighten and distress the victim.
  • Intimacy seekers seek to establish an intimate, loving relationship with their victim. To them, the victim is a long-sought-after soul mate, and they were ‘meant’ to be together.
  • Incompetent suitors, despite poor social or courting skills, have a fixation, or in some cases a sense of entitlement to an intimate relationship with those who have attracted their amorous interest. Their victims are most often already in a dating relationship with someone else.
  • Predatory stalkers spy on the victim in order to prepare and plan an attack – usually sexual – on the victim.

We’ve all felt rejected at one time or another, and “bumped into” the person more than chance would allow.  Or, had a crush on someone and rearranged our schedule just so we could be where they would be… taking the long way to our destination, for instance, so we could drive by their house. 

Come on… Don’t tell me it’s just me…  I saw you in that bush last week, so fess up!

lol…  But do STALKERS have an anthem, a theme song?  And if they did, what would that song be?  Well, this first video is proof I should update my bookmarks more often.  ORIGINALLY… I had Morrissey’s creepy-as-HELL video of The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get for this spot, but UNfortunately… some bigwigs somewhere threw a fit about the use of Morrissey’s song and all that, and the vid’s now muted.  So… I had to sub in this 1995 Mickey Mouse Club version.  *sigh

Pay particular attention to the lyrics:

I will be
In the car
With my hand
In the spots
I am now
A central part
Of your mind’s landscape
Whether you care
Or do not
Yeah, I’ve made up your mind 

The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You’re wasting your time
The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You’re wasting your time

Beware !
I bear more grudges
Than lonely high court judges
When you sleep
I will creep
Into your thoughts
Like a bad debt
That you can’t pay
Take the easy way
And give in
Yeah, and let me in

Was that a young Jamie Lynn Spears intro’ing the vid?

Yeah, Morrisey’s is definitely creepier than the teenie-bopper one.  PERHAPS, that’s because we expect, or at least forgive, teens to be obsessive.  Morrissey, on the other hand, is a grown and already-mildly-creepy man and should be able to understand reality and have some amount of self-control.

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Until I saw and heard the Morrissey video, the next song was what I considered the theme song for stalkers everywhere.  Ever since I was a teenager, The Police’s song Every Breath You Take has seemed a bit stalker-ish to me.  AND the following video proves that I’m not the only one to think that! Listen to the lyrics:

 

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And then there is FRED. Poor Fred! He can’t help it that he’s in love with Judy, even though she’s such a BRAT! She won’t IM him back at all, so what could he do? Of course he had to sneak in her house, sniff her perfume, go through her drawers, and such. But he’s NOT a STALKER!

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Paula Abdul’s stalker, Paul Marturano, auditioned on the 7th season of American Idol with his offerings of his obsessive love for the F in the AI mfm party.

So, now it’s your turn. Post a link of your fav stalker video in the comments here, or better yet… Blog your own VVW and leave a link in the comments!

Next week’s VVW topic: Sing it loud! Sing it proud! Sing it WRONG… Misheard Lyrics.

When We Were Romans by Matthew Kneale

Title: When We Were Romans
Author: Matthew Kneale
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: Double Day
Publish Date: July 22, 2008
ISBN: 9780385526258

I had seen mum when she got worreid but I never saw her like this, this was worse. I said “mum, its time to get up, don’t you want your breakfast” but she just talked really quietly so I could hardly hear, it was like she was yawning, she said “I think I’ll just stay here, Lawrence, I’m a bit tired.” I said “but you can’t mum, we’ve got to go to Rome, remember” but she didn’t say anything, she just lay in her bed looking up at the cieling with her eyes. I could feel my breathing going fast and Jemimas lips were going all wobbly like she would cry, she said “whats gone wrong with mummy” and I didn’t know what to do, I thought “what about our breakfast?” I thought “I don’t know where we get it, we can’t go without mum” and suddenly I wanted to cry too. But then I thought of something, it was like I just notised it, I thought “I cant get upset too actually or there will be nobody left.”

When We Were Romans is a story of a family in crisis, fleeing from their home to escape the children’s stalking father as told by nine-year-old Lawrence. Through Lawrence’s eyes we witness and feel the life of a child who has no choice or control in his life and must go with and take care of his mentally ill mother. In this, Lawrence is both a helpless child desperate for his mother’s affection and care giver who must watch her carefully, always ready to do or say whatever he must to keep her from slipping into a deep depressive state.  (I kept wondering if she was a bipolar, borderline personality, or had paranoid schitzophrenia.)

It is heartbreaking to watch Lawrence struggle with being a typical older sibling who feels his baby sister is favored (and sometimes he’s right, as Jemima screams and bites until their mother gives in), and with being the man of the family, responsible for Jemima’s care and his mother’s safety. Several times his mother loses herself and Lawrence feels panicked about what he could do as a child.

As the book progresses, Hannah (mum) descends deeper into her delusions. When her friends disagree with her and try to get her to see that what she says is not possible, she tells Lawrence their father has turned them against her. She finally comes unhinged as she is certain their father has taken up residence in the building next door, sneaks in their house and poisons the food, and at one point she tells Lawrence he’s poisoned their tap, too. When Lawrence expresses his doubts about what his mother says, Hannah withholds love and affection until he finally gives in and agrees to everything she tells him.

A bit later the door opened and mum looked in, she was still cross, I could see it. She said “hurry up Lawrence, we’re going out to get some breakfast at a cafe.” I thought “that’s strange, why does she want to go outside to a cafe when shes worried dads out there?” But then when I got up I saw there were two garbage bags by the door and I understood, I thought “oh yes of course, mum has thrown away all our food in case its poissoned, so we have to go out.” I thought “I hope it really is poissoned or thats a big waste of food”

For me, this was a hard read. Not in the sense of densness or poor writing, Kneale is an amazing writer, never jumping out of Lawrence’s voice, and the language was so simple, just like a nine-year-old would write. What made it hard was that I’ve had a past where I was a mom and struggled with mental illness at the same time. It’s amazing how much children see and understand that, years later, I’m still shocked and embarrassed by the things they remember. To understand what young Lawrence is feeling, both dependant and caretaker, always tiptoeing around to see how mum’s feeling at this minute, which could turn 180 degrees the next. To hear his frustration, hurt, anger, and devotion breaks my heart for him… and for my kids, as well.

Also sprinkled throughout the book are scientific stories about space, Emperors and Popes. These are different tidbits from the books Lawrence was reading and at first seemed non-sequiter, but as I began to try to figure out how they fit within the text (I was certain an author of Kneale’s talent would just throw them in for filler) I began to see how they reflected what was going on for Lawrence. As he talks of “The Great Attractor” and the sun expanding out and burning up the earth before imploding on itself, I can see this references the pull his mother had on him. The stories of Popes and Emperors displayed madness and murder at it’s nth degree. The story of Nero trying to kill his mother Agrippina is was particularly interesting as I couldn’t help but wonder if this was Lawrence’s subconscious wish.

Amazingly simplistic and deeply intuitive, When We Were Romans is a prize worthy work. However, if you are put off by spelling and grammatical errors, I do not recommend it. As I said, it is written from Lawrence’s point of view and is full of the type of mispelling and grammar trouble typical of a child. But if you are able to look past that and enjoy books of family drama and suspense, then I definitely suggest adding When We Were Romansto your own Mt. TBR.   4.5 stars out of 5   This story will be with me for a while.